The List

Heya. So, I work at a big box office supply store. You’ve probably been to one. I’ve noticed certain behavior that customers, or general consumers, make or display when shopping. What’s remarkable about this, to me, is that in other situations, much of this behavior would be completely unacceptable in society. So, I thought I would complain, which I’m good at, in a new series I’m calling:

THE BIG LIST OF SMALL GRIEVANCES 

Let’s begin.

Opening shit

Let’s say you walk into a grocery store, and you happen upon a packaged foodstuff you’ve never had before. There’s a picture of the food on the package, and a description of what it tastes like. But still, you’re curious, so what the hell, you open it up and take a bite. Yuck! You don’t like that at all. Tastes like anchovies and hair, very weird. “Oh well,” you think, “ well, now I know” and you place the opened foodstuff back on the shelf.  Of course, no one really does this, or at least not without being asked to leave, because it would be rude, and weird. However, people do not feel the need to observe the same level of decorum in electronics/office supply stores. Oh hey, it’s a phone charger, with a picture on the front, and a list of compatible devices. Well, I don’t really feel like reading, I’m going to pull it out and see if it fits my device. Hmm, nope, I’ll just place it back on the shelf.

You’ve now cost the store 79.99, or whatever.  I know, I know, big heartless corporation, what do you care, they’re rolling in money! Well, chances are, they aren’t. Stores are usually responsible for their own inventory and a certain budget. People’s jobs depend on how well their stores do, bonuses, incentives, and achievements do as well. I’ve seen opened chargers, routers, phones, pens, and even a plastic wrapped selection of cardboard containers because, quote, “I wanted to see if they were actually cardboard, which I don’t want.” Every opened item is a lost item, and the cost of it, at some level, if not completely, is eaten by the store.

I’m number one

So, I do tech work, I usually do this at a station behind the cashier, you know, the one without a register, or any identifying marks as such. Now, we do get busy, but the following situation happens, at least once a month. There is a decently long line for check out, and I’m nearby working on computers, All registers are open, but there’s just a lot of people, and we’re working through them as quickly as possible. Inevitably, someone will walk up with their purchases, look at the line, walk past come up to me and announce, “I would like to check out.” Let’s examine the psychology of this person. They are, I assume, at least partially educated, decently ration, and functional. They have taken a look at a long line, come to an understandable conclusion that they would not like to wait in it, then arrived at the unreasonable conclusion that they don’t have to, and are now trying their best to bypass it, and get out first. When informed that I am not a register, and have no means of checking them out, a look of disdain and disgust spreads across their face.  “That’s ridiculous” is something I have heard quite often. I fight the urge to tell them that the word “ridiculous” probably does not mean what they think it means. If they got to the front of the line, and there was an elephant manning the register, that would be ridiculous.

                This attitude and ignorance extends to my field as well. I am often asked why the tech work the customer wants done cannot be done while they wait. Discounting the fact that they are probably not the first person to lug their 2003 Compaq Presario to my desk that day, I calmly explain that pulling their hard drive out, copying their data, reinserting their HD, wiping it, reinstalling windows, setting that up, reinstalling their programs and cleaning the Balrog sized dust bunnies out of their computer will take slightly longer than a half hour. The usual response to that: “Why?”

I would also like to announce, formally, that neither I, nor any employee at the store, have any control over the price of ink, toner, phone, MP3 player, pen, pencil, calendar, or any fucking thing in the store. Bitching to us about the price, condition, or “They just don’t make them the way I liked them anymore” style situation will not result in an outcome you want. Chances are, they made that printer the way it is for maximum convenience for the most amounts of people. I am sorry you do not fit into that group; perhaps you should examine your comfort habits and preferences again. We also, collectively, have no control over the company customer loyalty program. We cannot look up your savings, print your coupons, explain why your email isn’t receiving them, or correct any perceived/real error in your account. We are hourly employees, and have very limited power (read:none). Also, a fourteen day return policy is a fourteen day return policy, learn to read.

The final grievance:

Closing Time

Not just a nifty song by Semisonic, it’s an actual rule. I was taught that if an establishment closes at 8, you do not decide to go shopping at 7:55. It’s one thing if you really need something, and you know exactly where it is, that’s somewhat forgivable. There are people, who will walk past the sign announcing the closing time, with less than five minutes to spare, and proceed to browse. There’s nothing illegal about this, it’s called common courtesy. Most big stores have a closing time, but will rarely evict someone after closing time, as per corporate policy. So, you can proceed to browse 30 or 40 minutes after the store has closed, just now that when you walk in at 7:55 and grab a shopping cart, the employees have begun mentally planning your death.

I realize this was petty, but it’s my goddam blog, and it irks me. Furthermore, watching people and how they behave in a consumer situation is fascinating, and people’s personalities, and intelligence level, change.  Don’t believe me? Go to a restaurant and watch how people treat waiters for a while.

 Done.